Red Flag Detector
An eight-question, private reflection on patterns worth paying attention to in your relationship.
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How this red flag detector works
Answer eight questions honestly about specific behaviors and patterns. Nothing is saved or sent anywhere — this is a private reflection tool, not a diagnosis, and your results are just for you.
What this tool is, and isn't
This is a reflection prompt, not a professional assessment. It can't tell you whether your relationship is safe or unsafe — only a conversation with a trusted friend, a counselor, or a support line can really do that. What it can do is put a name to specific patterns — checking your phone without asking, discouraging your independence, reacting badly when you disagree — that are easy to rationalize individually but add up to something worth noticing when they cluster together.
Every question here focuses on a specific, observable behavior rather than a vague feeling, because specific behaviors are easier to evaluate honestly than a general sense of "is this okay." If you find yourself justifying an answer as you pick it, that's often worth sitting with a little longer.
If your results feel heavy
A high score here doesn't mean you need to make any immediate decision — it means it might be worth talking to someone you trust about what you're noticing. That could be a friend, a family member, a therapist, or a support line built exactly for this. You don't have to have it all figured out before reaching out.
It's also worth taking the results at face value rather than talking yourself out of them. It's common to answer honestly and then immediately start explaining away a concerning pattern — "but they're usually so sweet," "it's only happened a few times." Those explanations might be true, and they don't cancel out what you noticed. Both things can be real at once.
Support is available
If anything in this quiz felt close to home, you don't have to sit with it alone. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is free, confidential, and available 24/7: call 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org. This applies whether or not you're sure anything is "serious enough" to reach out about — it's there for reflection too, not just crisis.
FAQ
Is this a diagnosis?
No. This is a private reflection tool, not a professional or clinical assessment. It can highlight patterns worth thinking about, but it can't evaluate your specific situation the way a person can.
Is my data saved?
No, nothing you answer is stored or sent anywhere. Everything happens in your browser and disappears when you close the tab.
What should I do if I'm concerned about my results?
Consider talking to someone you trust — a friend, family member, counselor, or a support line like the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233).
Can I retake this later?
Yes, there's no limit — retaking it after time has passed can help you notice whether a pattern has changed.